Yesterday I was feeling a little bitter. I was on Facebook, scrolling down the News Feed. I started feeling this terrible, jealous, bitter feeling when I saw how many of my facebook friends are in relationship. Changed relationship statuses, cute posts about how in love they are, kissing pictures, wedding announcements. I kid you not. Ten stories in a row were like this. It was crazy!
Well I started feeling a bit angry, like "I chose to be single! It was the right decision, why is it suddenly so sad that I'm not dating someone, that I'm focusing my efforts elsewhere?"
Oh, for those who suddenly wonder what happened to Brandon, that's a long story. Made short, I have a lot I need to focus on. Mission, work, classes, rebuilding friendships, returning to the temple, my calling, etc. and I just didn't have room for him in my life anymore. It's sad, yes, but hopefully there will be a day where we are both in a position to have it work out right.
Anyway, I was just feeling worse and worse so I switched off of Facebook and found something else to do. I prayed for a bit of comfort, I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't receive comfort for a while actually, i was left to stew for a bit, around three hours I would say. It did come though, right when I least expected it. I was about to drift off to sleep when I suddenly was overwhelmed with this sense of love. It was a physical sensation that made me gasp out loud and of course I started to cry. In that instant, all the bad feelings about everything washed away. I received a lot of insight on how I will feel about my future spouse and how he feels about me. I know the kind of person he is. There was a bit more, but I want to keep that a bit more private and personal as I feel it's a too sacred for a blog. I will say that I felt absolute peace about it though, like "Don't worry, he already loves you, and has you in his thoughts."
This experience, combined with my scripture study this morning, which was perfectly tailored to what I need to do today, just demonstrates to me the all-knowing power of God. He sees all. He sees us, and the people and things that need to be in our lives, and He tweaks the universe to get them there. He notices our feelings, and takes action when we ask for comfort. He might ask us to wait for a bit, but it always comes. If I had received peace in my heart when I had asked, sure I would have felt better, but I would not have been as open to the heartwarming experience that occurred, my mind would not have been in the right place to have comprehended it. He knows at what time we are ready, when His love will have the greatest effect on us. He loves us, He loves you. Don't forget that.
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